HALT: A Mindful Pause for Emotional Well-being and Self-awareness

#selfcare #emotionalregulation #mindful #pause #healing #mindbody

HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired, and it's a simple yet powerful tool for recognizing emotional and physical triggers that can impact our well-being. I first learned about it during my time attending Al-Anon meetings, where it was used as a reminder to check in with ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or emotionally charged. By addressing these basic needs, HALT encourages us to pause and reflect on whether any of these states are influencing our mood or reactions, allowing us to better manage stress and make healthier decisions in challenging situations.

I’d like to provide some examples and break down HALT to make this a helpful read, especially in understanding its impact on both your nervous system and your energetic state. When you neglect to stop and take care of yourself—whether you're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired—your body and mind can shift into a state of heightened stress or dysregulation. For instance, hunger can activate a survival response in the nervous system, causing irritability or fatigue. Anger can trigger the fight-or-flight response, while loneliness may lead to feelings of disconnection, activating the nervous system’s need for social engagement. Fatigue, on the other hand, can drain your energy reserves, making it difficult to cope with even minor stressors. By not addressing these needs, you're more likely to experience emotional overwhelm and depletion, preventing you from functioning optimally. Recognizing and tending to these states is key to maintaining balance and well-being.

Before we move forward, I want to normalize how long it can take to recognize these signals and develop a habit of addressing them. It’s a process that requires patience and self-compassion. Many of us, especially those with trauma histories, have learned to disconnect from our body’s needs as a way to cope or survive. It can take time to rebuild that connection and learn to listen to the subtle cues our body is giving us. Developing the habit of addressing these needs consistently is also a gradual process. It's important to acknowledge that this doesn’t happen overnight, and that it’s okay to take small, manageable steps toward self-awareness and care.

HUNGRY

There’s a reason we mix the words hungry and angry to create “hangry.” Like many of us who have experienced trauma, I had to learn how to slow down enough to even recognize that I might be hungry. I love hiking, and often went on long hikes with my dogs without taking anything for myself to eat. I’d sometimes end up feeling worse emotionally after a hike than I did before. It was a valuable lesson for me to learn the signs my body gave me when I was hungry. For me, these signs included feeling drained, irritable, experiencing nausea, a buzzing sensation in my body, and a sense of mental fog or confusion. I found myself getting into arguments about things that wouldn’t normally bother me.

It was helpful for me to have dogs, as I often took better care of them than I did myself. I could follow their cues—if they were hungry, it was a good sign that I probably was too. My therapist supported me in creating simple strategies, like keeping a snack in the car, just in case I felt hungry while out and about. I also had friends who would ask if I was hungry, which gave me a moment to pause and check in with myself. I committed to reminding myself that I can’t always tell what’s happening in my body right away, and that’s okay. I might need to slow down more than someone else, and learning to accept that has been a key part of my self-care journey.

The anger I experienced as a result of being hungry was to be expected, given that my body was in fight-or-flight mode. While intellectually I knew I was safe, my body was reacting as if there was a lack of safety because I wasn’t recognizing a basic need—food. Food represents nurturance, and not having it can trigger feelings of deprivation, reminding us of times in our younger lives when we may have lacked the nurturance we needed. As children, we didn’t have the tools or the ability to take care of ourselves, but now, as adults, we can show up for ourselves in a new way. By providing the nourishment and nurturance we needed then, we help renegotiate those past experiences, offering our nervous system a sense of safety and care.

ANGRY

Anger is a powerful and valid emotion. It not only gives us strength, but also clarity about where our boundaries are being crossed. However, sometimes we use anger as a shield to avoid feeling more vulnerable emotions. It may be that our anger is triggered by a reminder of past hurt, and we end up superimposing those old feelings onto the present moment. This can happen out of fear of experiencing the difficult emotions we once felt. While anger can protect us, it’s important to explore whether it’s covering up deeper feelings, allowing us to heal rather than simply react.

When I began working through my feelings, I often found myself landing on anger because it felt protective when nothing else did. I also recognize that for some of my clients, anger feels dangerous and can become misdirected toward themselves. Wherever you are on your journey with anger, it’s important to connect with it and understand what it’s trying to tell you. Allow your inner child to be angry without shame or judgment. I invite you to simply acknowledge the presence of anger without immediately reacting to it. This may take practice, but the ability to sit with your anger and listen to its message is well worth the effort—it’s a powerful step toward deeper self-awareness and healing.

When you feel angry, try to check in with yourself. Ask if something triggered you, bringing up pain from the past. If so, acknowledge it and allow yourself to gently touch into that pain before moving your focus to something more supportive. This can help you build capacity to manage those feelings. You might also be feeling a different emotion, like sadness, hurt, or fear. If that's the case, see if you can give yourself permission to feel those emotions, ideally with support from friends, family, or a therapist. These feelings, while hard, are important to experience so they don’t resurface as anger.

If you're internalizing your anger because it doesn’t feel safe to express it toward the person who upset you, remind yourself that you're angry—not at yourself, but at the situation or the person. Try imagining what it would feel like to say what you need to say to that person, rather than turning the anger inward. If you don’t succeed at first and end up lashing out at yourself or others, take accountability. Remember, you’re still learning how to address your anger. Mistakes are part of the process, and they help us grow. Be kind to yourself, reflect on where the anger was coming from, and make amends by slowing down to notice the next time a strong feeling arises.

LONELY

Loneliness is a difficult feeling. It can feel draining and isolating, making it seem like no one cares, that no one would want to connect, or that everyone else is busy with their own lives. In my work with clients, I’ve found that even in the midst of feeling lonely, most people have at least one person in their life who would be happy to hear from them and would love to connect. It’s important to remember that while loneliness can distort our perception, reaching out to someone—even when it feels hard—can open the door to the connection we crave.

Loneliness is a feeling that can stem from early experiences of feeling alone or unloved as a child, or from a fear of being hurt by others. This fear can continue to distort our perception, convincing us to stay isolated even when connection is what we truly need. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from the wonderful animals in my life is that when they need connection, they don’t wait around for an invitation—they just show up and sit next to you. They don’t hesitate or overthink it; they simply seek the comfort they need. This is a beautiful lesson we can all learn: when you need connection, go seek it. It’s okay to reach out and be present with others, even if it feels vulnerable.

If you feel lonely, try reaching out to someone you trust who you know cares about you. For me, I started by finding comfort with my dogs, and if that’s where you are right now, connect with your pets. Once I learned I could trust my dogs with my emotions, I became more and more able to reach out to the friends I had in my life, trusting that they could show up for me—just a little bit at a time. It’s vulnerable to put ourselves out there, but the alternative is isolating ourselves and reinforcing hurtful messages that we don’t deserve connection. You deserve more than that. You deserve connection, love, and care as a human being.

TIRED

I don’t know about you, but feeling tired is a really hard one for me. I often find myself feeling exhausted yet fighting against the need for rest. This struggle is common among my clients as well, many of whom have internalized messages that label them as lazy, not good enough, or undeserving of rest. It’s so unfortunate that we often rob ourselves of the rest we need, as it is essential for our well-being. I genuinely wish for all of us to reclaim our right to rest and understand that taking time to recharge is not only necessary, but also a fundamental aspect of caring for ourselves. We deserve to honor our need for rest without guilt or shame.

I often remind my clients that the messages we give ourselves can sometimes serve as red flags from our nervous system since they are known and easily identifiable. When we tell ourselves we’re being lazy, it may actually be our nervous system waving a flag, signaling, “Hey! Something is wrong.” This can be a cue to slow down and check in with ourselves: “Am I tired?” “Do I need rest?” Every time I try to push through my fatigue, I not only end up feeling more exhausted, but I also create bigger issues than where I started. I understand that resting is not easy, especially when we’ve been positively reinforced throughout our lives to keep pushing through. However, this mindset can be costly for our nervous system. Lack of rest can lead to a range of physical and mental health issues. Ultimately, we can either choose to rest willingly, or we may find ourselves forced into it. I personally believe it’s far better to reclaim that control over our lives and prioritize our need for rest before it becomes a necessity.

Rest doesn’t always look like taking a nap, although that can be incredibly helpful if you have the opportunity. Rest can also manifest in more subtle ways, such as noticing your feelings, communicating with a partner about your lack of capacity for certain tasks, practicing breathing exercises, or simply refraining from engaging in a lot of physical movement. I often find that when I’m avoiding rest, it may be because I’m trying to sidestep a difficult emotion. This is where it’s essential to remember that you don’t have to navigate your feelings alone—seeking support can make a world of difference. Engaging with others can help you process those hard emotions and give yourself permission to rest without guilt. You deserve that space to recharge and address what you’re feeling.

There is, of course, so much more to say on this topic, but I hope this serves as a helpful beginning with some basic tools. Your situation is unique, and I may not have addressed every aspect of what you're experiencing. I encourage you to reflect on what resonates with you and discuss it further with your therapist. Together, you can explore what strategies and approaches will work best for your individual circumstances. Remember, finding the right path for your healing journey is a personal process, and it's important to honor that uniqueness as you move forward.